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Dear Bathrobe Lady

October 1, 2012

Dear Lady In Her Bathrobe Coming out of Wal Mart,

That was a bold fashion statement.  From its full-length fuzziness to is beacon of bright, Christmas, redness, I was mesmerized.  I had my phone in my hand.  I almost took a picture.  Almost.  Part of me wishes I had, and part of me is glad I didn’t.  I really dithered there in the parking lot, phone turned on, just one click away from immortalizing your . . . je ne sais quoi (which I believe is French for “complete lack of fetchin’ up”).  In my amazement, I was unable to process the black shapes on your red, red robe.  Were they Scottie dogs?  Reindeer?  Mud flap girls?  Because I hesitated and did not take the picture (out of respect for both your humanity and mine) I will never know.

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Dear Quinn,

The fact that you could not tell me what a firefighter does is evidence that you watched way to little Sesame Street during your preschool years (I now have “Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood” looping through my head).  The fact that you could tell me that police officers shoot people and put them in jail is evidence that I am failing as a mother.  The fact that, when instructed to draw a picture of somebody doing a job, you drew a picture of a female teacher and GAVE. HER. BOOBS. should be of great comfort to your father, who is mortified by your love of all things pink (like the shoes you drew on the teacher).

photo (2)

(Yes, I asked, “So, these are her arms, here?  Ok.  What are the two circles above her arms?”)

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Dear Readers,

First, thanks to those of you who didn’t give me up for dead.  Because I’m not.  I’ve just been in a blogging coma or something.  Also, I am working on editing photos of our epic Harry Potter birthday party to share with you.  Do you know how long it takes to obscure faces on a fragillion photos of a party that involved about 30 people?  I could password protect the post, but I want to see if any of my hard work makes it to Pinterest.  Wouldn’t I just feel like the homecoming queen if some of my ideas started showing up on Pinterest?!?!  Oh yes, yes I would.  That reminds me – It’s . . . well, crap.  I had to stop writing for a bit because dinner was ready, and now I’ve forgotten of what I was reminded.

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Dear Aging,

You. Suck.

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Dear Me,

Sometimes?  You rock.  Way to work in the word “mewling” when you helped the husband draft that email today.  Great word.  Really.  A word that was crying out to be used.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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Dear Readers,

I remember!

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been on the blog, so I’m behind on any new, fun, update-y type things in the world of WordPress.  Gadgets?  Widgets?  Buttons to encourage pinning?  (I never got to be the homecoming queen, so I’m desperate here.)  Let me know what’s new and great.  In the meantime, Tewt the Newt will do a little digging around, too.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 1, 2012 11:19 pm

    Girl I have no idea how to thank you, the laughing from this post caused great laughter which I so needed today (yes I had that kind of day)!

  2. October 2, 2012 12:33 am

    I’m so glad you’re back! I love the boob picture. That’s awesome.

  3. October 5, 2012 7:31 pm

    I love your “Dear …” posts! And your son is hysterical. And I miss Sesame Street. It was especially good before they foisted their liberal agenda on it. (Yes, I really just went there. I couldn’t help myself, just one month and one day before we elect ourselves a new president…)

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